I forgot how to write a song..!

[Happy February!]

It's Valentine's Day

Gusts of love-laden words

Should be rushing your way

I must have at least

a million poems to say

I wonder what's wrong?

Has it really been

so long?

Have I forgotten

How to write a song?

I'm not running out of themes

You made me dream

A few thousand dreams

You taught me

how to smile for no reason

How to read newspapers

How to cry and still feel joy

How to whistle, how to drive

How to talk my heart out

How to sneak out of home

How to play tic-tac-toe

How to simply love myself 

How to simply love you

And then it hit me, what's wrong.

I've been busy 

falling in love so long,

And I've forgotten

How to write a song.

Sorry for being an enigma

Sorry for being an enigma

Attitudes change and people don’t.

But I’m not the same any more though.

I’m being an enigma,

Sorry for being so.

I’d rather care less than care too much.

I’d rather not wither at every touch.

If that means being empty inside,

So be it.

Someday when it’s too late,

I’ll just cry over it.

I’m not being heartless, no.

I’m just being an enigma.

So sorry for being so.

I want to to hold you close,

But I’ll ask you to leave me alone.

Sometimes the world is perfect

When you’re here,

Sometimes it’s just fear

That brings out tears

That everything I hold dear

Will someday fade away.

Sorry for being an enigma.

So sorry for being this way.

Attitudes change and people don’t.

But I’ll never be the same two days in a row.

I’m just being an enigma,

And I’m sorry for being so.

Silence inside...........

The sky full of fireworks..

And the silence inside.

A second-long laughter just died.

Within those dry lips,

I thousand screams hide

And prowl about

Flitting across the eyes, in and out

Like little sparks of fury…

But I’m already burned out.

I’m already beaten numb

Already swept clean

Pinched dry

Erased

Of all those tiny little joys.

Now all I hear is noise

Of those beautiful fireworks outside,

And the numb silence inside.

Blink

Blink

And there is a footstep I could follow.

Blink

And now there is just snow.

Blink

And there is a flash of light.

Blink

And it’s darker even more.

Where’s my big revelation

That I had a heartbeat ago?

Why, now, is everything dark,

And filled with snow?

Yesterday I complained,

Of a room too bright, a sweater too warm and light

Of soup too tasty and bread to fluffy and white!

Today I sit, cold and confused

Alone, my unhappy mind left loose.

I muse

About yesterday and all that I had,

“How imperfect it was, so bad!

How could I be happy?

I have so much to lose!”

Blink

And I had it all, but I complain.

Blink

And I lose it all and complain again.

Blink

And the light and footprints disappear,

Blink

And I’m left clueless again.

(This is just the sensible part of my mind yelling at the other, whiny unhappy part of my mind.. nothing too serious!)

Dialogues in my head

“What would it take to get

That hint of a smile on your face,

That twinkles of your eye stand out in the haze?”

“It is already there, don’t you see?

A wall of indifference

Is all that’s between you and me”

“It’s not what’s there, but what is not.

But I sure sense a lost happy-song

That’s gone for I wonder how long..”

“Read me for what I say, read me for what I do.

But my happy-song only plays

In my happy place, unknown to you!”

“Give me a smile that lights up the room,

Give me a giggle that jingles like chimes,

Give me a laugh that so mesmerizing that

I may forget to rhyme!”

“Quit searching me for answers,

And for scattered joy.

Just don’t ask me why.

Ask me if I’m fine, don’t wait for a reply.

Quit trying to read me,

That’s all I want you to do.

Because the happy-song I lost,

Plays in my happy place unknown to you!”

Again, what's love?

(Valentine's Day is months away but these thoughts just don't leave me!)

Too many debates start with “What is love?”

One day, yet again
A weary conversation was led
Where suit-clad big shot said
Love is the purest form of emotion
Between man and woman
Wrong, once they grow up there is no more love

Said the young lady with a tattoo on her sleeve
Love is the hedonic electricity
Between cupid-stuck teenagers
Wrong, said the plump woman in pink
Until they grow up they aren’t in love
Well, you grew up. Are you in love?

Calm down ladies, now, now…
Why does love have to be for the opposite sex?
Said the gadget-loving, bike riding guy next
While the girl with the tattoo texted
Her temporary soul mate
That she’ll be late
Stuck with a bunch of love-less lunatics
“..Mother and child, brother and sister..”
The artist continued to list
The technical types of love
Desperately trying to be different
And enter
Two men, hand in hand
Wearing each a wedding band
And catch up on the debate
And the speaker, relieved, raises the question again
The question that triggered
A tiny war between generations
“What is love?”

Outside air conditioned room
Where debaters fly at each other
A puppy lies on the pavement
Its blood trailing from the middle of the road
Puppy crushed under a truck load
A puny little boy, also crushed
Looks back at his shed where under a half constructed building
Everyone is busy building
The tallest apartment of the city
Brick laying, cementing
The puny kid silently, gently holding
The half dead puppy
His little hands caked with
Dust from passing the bricks
Tears streaming down his blackened face
Whispering in his own blubbering language
“Don’t leave me my friend..
I love you so much..”

And the third time, again
Up in the air conditioned room
The calm one (still!) asks again
“What is love?”
Answer me now…

Solitude

It shows in the faceless eyes,

Its roots in the mind clawing deep;

to sing to yourself a lull-a-by

and still manage to fall asleep.

A trifle uneasy to smile alone..

a trifle uneasy to weep……

from beneath the un-held hands

the worms of solitude creep.........

PS: I have the awesomest friends and I an absolutely happy :) this is just a poem